Wednesday, October 26, 2005

bitter envy and depression

I hate life. There's absolutely no purpose. I wish I could fall into a deep sleep like Sleeping Beauty and wake up only when my prince charming is there to whisk me away to a world of joy and happiness.

I don't even know what's wrong with me. Every little thing just piles up and makes life stink. Bitter envy and depression is my life right now. I hate how I can't take control of my life, it just goes on and I feel like a stranger watching my life as a horror film. Helpless. I mean there's nothing I can do about it.

There's no one I can talk to and I hate that. I want to be filled with joy once again but it seems to fake. Is everyone really as happy as they seem? Or is it just me living this screwed up life. Am I the only one with these kinds of problems?

Friday, October 14, 2005

So Glad It's The Weekend Again!

I hate school so much. Last year the subject I understand and enjoyed the most was math and now I can't understand a thing about it and I detest it with all of my being. My option (drama) is pretty fun but I don't like some of the people in the class so it's sorta annoying. Next half-of-the-year (not sure the professional name) I'll be taking Clowning and Puppeting if I can get into it and I'm so excited for that!

For LA we get to write stories and this was my idea: A fantasy about a world that lives upon the clouds full of marshmallow men (and ladies but marshmallow people doesn't sound as good as marshmallow men) and fairies. The most common source of transportation is something along the lines of a dump truck, which I haven't quite designed yet, but it will be so cool! I'm going to make up a bunch of cute animals too! So, do you like it? I wanted to do something really abnormal cause I'm so sick of writing stories and I wanna write somthing where I get to create it. I'm really excited about it! I just really hope I don't get marks off for it being sorta lame and stupid. Well, I don't think it's lame and stupid but she might (she being the teacher).

You know what bugs me? When people describe things as 'gay'. Wait, it's not that I'm offended by it or anything I just think it's so pointless. People are like, "That test was so gay!" What I wanna know is how is a test is gay?! I know there's some strange descriptive words (like 'da bomb' - which I am proud to say I do not say) but gay? Who comes up with these things!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

It's The Long Weekend!

4 days of doing nothing except watching TV and eating food. K, well a little more than that but ya know what I mean. I have gotten so much clothes lately it's craziness, I feel pretty mean cause I get all this nice stuff and there's some poeple in the world who can't even afford an old, ugly t-shirt cause they live in such poverty. But anyways, I got the cutest coat at Jacob Conexion, it's blue plaid and it's down to the knees and I also got a cord jacket and it looks like there's a sweater underneat and I got a cream vest with fur around the neck, fur boots (mind you I did have to pay for some of this) and some other littler things.

Today I'm going to Blessings to get a Bible - I'm getting the Message cause I totally understand it which pretty much rocks. I have to buy it with my own money though.

Oh, guess what else! Our school sells mag subscriptions and since my mom works at the school we get half price! I'm getting LouLou, Shine Brightly, Fashion18 and ElleGirl!

I'm so starved right now. My dad is supposed to be coming home sometime in the next half hour to feed me but if he doesn't come home soon I'll have to take matters into my own hands.

For supper last night I made Bowtie Alfredo, it was my best yet! We also had salad with a oil vinegar type dressing and some buns - sooooooo good!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Nothing To Say... So Far Away... Talking To You...

Haha, that's a song! So I'm in school and I have a lot of homework. But I made a new friend (yes, I realize that sounds lame and only kindergarteners say that). But I did! We were laughing so hard cause we do the stupidest things. It's halarious. We do things that would get us in trouble and we set everything up for our grand plan and then we totally freak out about how we're gonna get in trouble - do fun!

I made a sorta friend too. She's so nice and she goes to my church so we might go to youth together (my youth has finally gotten good!!! I actually learned something and almost started crying (ahhhh, how embarassing)). She's so sweet though!

I have to do a devo for my class tomorrow, I'm reading from my Precious Moments book (awwww) it's about Thanksgiving and it's gonna be so cute!